Is It Normal That My 25-Year-Old Husband Wants Me To Cocoon While He Works?

By Fatime G

Recently, a woman reached out to the internet to speak up about a situation in her relationship that was bothering her. The woman and her husband are 25-year-old working adults.

However, the husband recently expressed a desire for them to adopt more traditional gender roles in their marriage, with him working almost 80 hours a week while the speaker stays at home to take care of domestic duties and self-care. The husband believes that this will provide a stable future for their future children.

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The woman is unsure about this arrangement and feels guilty about the burden it places on her husband, who is also pursuing a degree while trying to balance their relationship. The husband also plans to be actively involved in caring for their future children.

The speaker is wondering if this is a normal expectation in a relationship.

If you find yourself in this exact same situation, you should feel perplexed to find your 25-year-old husband suggesting you stay home and “cocoon.” It is not easy to discern whether this request is normal, as many variables are at play. The first thing most commenters recommend doing when faced with a similar issue is assessing what you want out of the situation.

You should also consider his past behavior for context; if he has traditionally been very protective or conservative, this could explain why he has asked for such an arrangement so late into the relationship.

The next step is to consider any past experiences that may have given rise to anxiety in both or one of you. Has your partner faced tough times when it was difficult for them or someone nearby? If yes, understand how these instances can shape ongoing behavior, even when things seem okay externally. 

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Knowing more concretely why he wants this arrangement may help give a better perspective on whether this behavior might be normal in your situation. He may have valid reasons behind his request, so try having an open and honest conversation before making final decisions on how to proceed.

Ultimately, only you know what will work best for yourself and your marriage – so do whatever feels right for both parties involved!

Be sure that all expectations are openly discussed between yourselves first; feeling heard while being able to express whatever worries they have can lessen any potential tension which may arise from miscommunication or misunderstandings down the line. Take time to understand where each other stands before deciding on a course of action that works best for everyone involved.