Dating Red Flags: 40+ Absurd Lies Men Have Told To Get Themselves Out Of Tricky Situations With Their PartnersBy Aileen D
We wouldn’t want to generalize men since we know they aren’t all bad. But this is a list of all the worst lies they came up with when they were caught red-handed. Some are ridiculous enough to make your loser of an ex look normal!
This article isn’t suited for those whose blood quickly boils upon hearing a lie. And it isn’t best for those who are still triggered by the shortcomings of an old flame. There’s no use getting riled up by boys who can’t make their minds up.
But who knows, reading these might be cathartic too. It might help you realize that what happened to you, although uncalled for, is more common than you think. It’s also perfectly normal to feel repulsed, angry, or even distrustful. But you have to learn to let go of these emotions, just like these women did with these men.
Who’s Got Issues With Boundaries?
One of the worst things you could ever have to deal with is a partner with no respect for boundaries. So, we couldn’t understand why this man would want to stay friends with an ex who supposedly could not respect his boundaries.
Someone give this man an Oscar! Not only was he portraying himself as a good samaritan, going out of his way to care for an ex-girlfriend, but he also had the audacity to set himself up as a victim. Can’t say it’s a new story, though.
We have met men who love kids. But we have never encountered a man who loved other people’s kids so much that he set their pictures up as his phone’s background photo. Sound’s pretty sus. How about you raise your own?
And while you’re at it, have the courage to admit that you have a kid with another woman. This kind of shadiness will not only traumatize your kid but also shame them for being rejected. It’s not their fault you couldn’t hold it in!
Depends What App
How would you feel if you found out that your partner’s profile was still active on dating apps? Well, that would depend. If your partner was on Bumble BFF and was trying to find you a friend, then that wouldn’t count as a red flag…right?
That’s a funny way of finding someone a friend. We would have opted for something like a book club or non-profit organization to join. This guy, however, prefers to frequent another friend’s lair just to help his girlfriend. How kind of him.
Some lies are easy to believe. After all, identity theft is pretty common nowadays. Someone can get a picture of you, set it as their profile photo, and use your good looks and name to rob people of their time and money.
But bro, not only does your Tinder account contain private selfies, but your account is also verified. For those of you who belong to the stone age, a Tinder account is only verified if the user bops his head while smiling to certify it’s them.
White Tuxedo Equals Wedding
This user thought that she knew everything there was about her man until she saw him dressed in a white tux with his son. The guy looked divine! But she found out soon enough that the guy was dressed for a special occasion.
Excuse us? He was pledging to stand by another woman while he was actively dating on the side. It was sheer luck that he was not smitten by the gods above him while he said his marriage vows. For sure, whoever he got married to regrets being his wife.
Hand me the Cuffs
After seeing these lies, we can’t help but feel worn out. We had to read this tweet twice to understand how he managed to get locked up. Was this a kink of his or something? Our next victim bares all.
That was a cute way of saying that he felt tied down to someone else now. Although learning that you were lied to sucks, it’s far worse to know that this groom didn’t even stick around his new home after the honeymoon.
Did You A Favor
We can still feel the bitterness after reading this tweet. After all, being ghosted leaves you fraught with worry and keeps you overthinking. You keep wondering what you did wrong, and there is just no closure. Fortunately enough, this woman discovered the truth.
With distance and time, we are sure she realized that this guy had done her a favor. Being ghosted may have hurt, but it was better than dating a guy whose only intention while he was with her was to satisfy his sexual curiosity.
This woman was jolted awake when she read that her boyfriend had been hospitalized because he slit his forearms! But she couldn’t be too sure. If he had cut it deep enough, he wouldn’t be able to type, now would he?
This is why it’s essential to have a healthy dose of distrust. Otherwise, this woman would have wasted her time and money to travel to the hospital where this patient would claim he was admitted. Kind of makes you wish he did it for real.
What He Meant by Bros
Respecting your partner’s need to spend time with their friends will go a long way in maintaining your relationship. So, this woman didn’t think much of it when her boyfriend said he would be hanging out with his boys, just like in the good old days.
But what he failed to say was that he would be hanging out with an underaged bro. It’s never too early to teach the ways of the world to a young one, especially one that has just been delivered fresh from the oven.
The choice not to have kids is enough of a dealbreaker for some people. It sounds harsh, but there are some who are willing to end marriages because of it. So, this man came up with a plan to secure that his bloodline lived on.
We can’t even imagine how this guy was able to keep a marriage for three years while he was actively seeing someone else on the side! Just how was he able to juggle life with this lady and manage to be a doting husband to someone else?
As much as we hate to admit it, the crudest, and funniest jokes, are almost always based on truth. When this guy joked to his girlfriend that he had gotten someone else pregnant, he should have expected that she would get mad.
The audacity of that other woman to send death threats when she was carrying a baby in the womb. But we kind of understand her. Bringing a life to the world with no support is hard. The energy these guys have to juggle two women is impressive, though.
If the game in life for men was to tie down as many women as you can, this guy is well on his way. Unfortunately for this woman, she discovered too late that her man was a womanizer. If she had met his parents then he would know who her fiancee had taken after.
It might be a cultural thing. After all, having many wives is a norm for Muslims, provided that the head of the family can look after each of his wives and their kids. Nonetheless, it must have come as a big shock that the tombstones she had visited were empty. Yikes!
Our relationship with our parents determines how we behave in romantic relationships and who we seek out as partners. So, we can’t help but feel sorry for this Twitter user who will likely have daddy issues now that she’s all grown up.
We would be furious. Two times over! First, for having a stepmother who’s nearly our age, and for being lied to by our own dad. We would storm out of the house and never look back. This kind of treatment definitely gave her scars for life!
If you aren’t ready to become a stay-at-home dad, it will show. The next guy on our list of shame wanted to date while still staying with his baby momma. He decided to hide a couple of things from his side chick. But he later found out he didn’t need to because she saw right through it.
The fact that he was acting very paternal towards another person’s kid must have been strange enough. Add a few similarities between him and the kid, like similar temperaments and a few facial features, and the cat was out of the bag. Such a flimsy lie.
At this rate, we have made a game out of the stories these users are sharing. What clues would give away a cheater? We honestly thought there was no such thing as a men’s church retreat until now. Is it like how the disciples went to commune with God?
Joke’s on us. There is such a thing as a men’s retreat. Since this woman’s husband had bailed on the other disciples, where was he going? He might have wanted to go on a private retreat…definitely not with Mary Magdalene.
Could Be For Something Else
We have encountered men who were more put-together than we were. They religiously book appointments at the barber’s shop and often trim their nails and beard. Additionally, they have a six-step skin regimen and great products. But this guy is something else.
It could have been for something else. But this woman knew that her man was sane enough to wax his pubes and vain enough to keep a woman on the side. After all, there’s no better fuel for the ego than having many women.
Someone has got to draw the line on jokes played on April Fools. You shouldn’t put your life or anyone else’s at risk. Nor should you use the “April Fools” excuse at other times of the year. We feel these are two rules any prankster must follow!
This guy might have wanted to play the grand finale on April Fool’s day, but his partner discovered his game beforehand. Instead of making her laugh, it made her bawl out in tears. But at least she didn’t have to waste more time on him.
The lengths these guys would go to to keep them from being discovered are appalling. They could have just used that time and energy to end the relationship and find someone else. We bet they would actually sleep better too!
But instead, this guy wasted his time drafting a text notification about an upgrade. See what you get when you spend your time cheating? you can’t even have a decent night’s sleep. Though it’s impressive that he thought on his feet that early, it’s still despicable.
Smartest Dog in the World
It just kept getting worse with each slide. This woman was concerned about the wetness on her boyfriend’s bed. But she found out the truth after she heard the dog flush the toilet. She couldn’t believe her eyes when the dog turned the knob and walked into the bedroom.
Isn’t her man a little too old to be playing? To think, this guy was having a little R and R on the side, and it wasn’t even his bachelor party! We can only imagine how distraught this woman was with this revelation.
Dime A Dozen
One of the worst ways people have discovered their partners were cheating on them was through an STI test. You would think that being monogamous would lower your risk of contracting syphilis, gonorrhea, or HIV… but that’s only if you and your partner are loyal.
Not that we should give this cheater any credit, but at least he told his then-wife that he had possibly contracted an infection. Most cheaters would rather let their partners suffer just to keep their secrets intact and avoid the consequences.
One After Another
Whereas other guys love to portray themselves as victims, this guy played himself as a nice guy. He could not stop himself from helping his homegirl out. The poor woman was down on her luck and needed a place to crash!
Turns out, he was just too ashamed to admit that he didn’t have the means to support himself or his ex-girlfriend. And when his girl called his bluff, he blamed it on his other personalities. What? He managed to sink even lower with that lie.
We thought we had heard it all. Well, at least in terms of deception. But we were wrong. If you’re like us and just love food, it can be very infuriating when you find someone eating yours without your express permission. Find out what this woman did when she discovered what the culprit had done.
This one’s actually pretty hilarious! Well, at least she now knows that it hadn’t been a dream. Hopefully, she won’t fall for that trick twice, no matter how sleepy or tired she feels. We would have been all riled up prepping food for lunch only to find out someone had eaten it.
Good Taste…In Women
We wouldn’t want to discriminate against guys for having poor taste in interior design. We know many who are quite successful in that field. But if it’s too darn beautiful, chances are it was a woman behind the decor design.
Look at it this way. He only dates high-value women. Take his wife, for example. She’s got exquisite taste, so maybe that’s a reflection of how he sees you. Even we can’t buy that! But, you’ve always gotta try to look at the bright side; otherwise, these men will break you.
Poor Judgment or Bad Eyesight
You can tell that this woman loved her boyfriend (at that time) because she was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. She had just seen credible proof that her partner was cheating, yet managed to second-guess her eyesight.
Champion gaslighter, this one. Had this woman given that guy a second chance, there is no denying that everyone would question her judgment. Thank heavens she believed the screenshots, not the lying and disrespectful man she once called a boyfriend.
Knows His Priorities
We have seen lots of movies where the cheating guy prioritizes his side chick. We are always in disbelief and feel indignant at the whole situation. But you wouldn’t feel that way with this guy. Nope, he knows his priorities.
He picked his wife over the mistress. This was a very defining moment for this woman since she decided she’d had enough. She wished the married couple a safe trip and blocked the guy on all of her social media accounts. The ship had sailed literally and figuratively on their relationship.
This man might have used some kind of voodoo stuff on himself because shortly after a car wreck, he was able to nurse himself to his usual healthy self. If you’re wondering, the car wreck looked as awful as the picture below.
Here’s an obvious tip, if you’re going to lie, keep track of your lies and always remember. Unlike the other women who had continued believing their boyfriend’s lies until it was too late, this girl luckily caught on early. She left the guy before he inflicted some serious damage.
Fits the Bill
This woman knew just how demanding her boyfriend’s job could be. So, when he said that he bought himself tickets for a well-deserved vacation, she couldn’t help but feel happy for the guy. He deserved it! But why hadn’t he tagged her along?
You know what, when it gets to this point, it’s usually best to just remove yourself from the equation. We are sure that ought to rid this user of the toxicity from her relationship with this man. His life as a bachelor is definitely over now!
There are some lies you hear that just make you facepalm. We can’t believe this guy came up with such a lame excuse. He had been texting several girls while he was in a relationship, and when he was caught, the guy said they were all bots!
That might have worked in the ’90s, but there’s no fooling women in the digital age. They are not only adept at sleuthing, but they’re also experts at smelling s**t a mile away. If we were this woman, we would have messaged all the bots he was flirting with on the side.
Whereas before we were the type to believe in fighting for your relationship, we have come to believe that it’s better to let things follow their own course. If the relationship screams for you to get out, learn to end it.
Take it from this user. Sometimes it’s puzzling what some men take their women for. Hardware? Really? Of course, she had gone through the pain of heartbreak, but she learned to dust it all off and move on with her life. Leaving the most liberating thing she did for herself.
This is one of the weirdest cover-ups we’ve heard, but we don’t know if it was enough reason for this woman to end her relationship. She knew that her man didn’t like surprises. What she didn’t know was that he had a very odd way of making sure there wasn’t a surprise birthday party.
Imagine the excitement this user felt as the days neared her boyfriend’s birthday. The balloon of enthusiasm popped when she found out that he knew the plan from the very beginning. Why would anyone fake being their aunt just to ruin a surprise?
We can understand why someone would want to hide the fact that they are unemployed. After all, people tend to associate your job status with the degree of respect they should accord you. But this guy made lying his life’s work.
This guy probably hopes to become all those things one day, but for now, he will have to keep his chin up, hustle hard, and, most importantly, stop lying and using his family as accomplices. It’s only by admitting the truth that he can begin his journey.
Doubting Her Truth
We can’t help but feel for this woman. When she chanced upon her man with his side chick, she confronted him about it. But instead of fessing up, he even denied her reality. What you see isn’t what it seems!
At that time, she might have desperately wanted to disprove what she was seeing since it was quite hurtful. So yes, maybe some part of her was willing to believe that she was conjuring the image before her. Fortunately enough, her best bud was there to tell her that she was being gaslighted.
Must be a Miracle
This woman nearly broke her neck when she whisked her head to look at her partner. The guy had just told her that he had a baby on the way. Problem is, she was definitely sure she didn’t have a baby bump for two reasons.
The obvious one and the fact that she recalled her partner saying he had pledged celibacy the previous year. That meant that he had never made it to third base with anyone, or so she thought. She reckoned that the longest time her partner had been celibate was a week tops!
This woman doesn’t know what she did, but she thinks it must have been something terrible to merit a partner this bad. She had prayed for the gods to gift her the man of her dreams, and they chose to deliver an absolute nightmare!
That is how a man shrugs off accountability. The moment you call him out on a lie, he turns the tables and invalidates the truth. He’ll say your indignance is not called for and then walk out on you for overreacting. This is abuse.
Easier to Remember
As much as we hate to admit it, we can’t help but liken ourselves to this woman’s ex. Not entirely, though. We may have lied about our age in the past for various reasons. However, we weren’t cruel or stupid enough to keep it up for as long as he did.
We can’t understand why this guy would pretend to be younger than he was. Usually, we date guys who are a couple of years older than us, and most guys actually pretend to be older, not younger. Such a peculiar case.
Free of Charge
This user could not believe it. She had it all – the good looks, the thriving business, the lofty apartment, and the dependable guy. It all seemed too good to be true, and sure enough, the universe proved she was right to be skeptical just a few months later.
She finally understood why he was so good with kids. It was because he had been raising a handful of them for the past couple of years. That meant he was still secretly in contact with their baby momma, or worse, living with her as his wife! Shady.
With this one, it might seem that breaking up with her boyfriend was a bit too harsh. After all, he had only lied about when his grandmother had died and you could always argue that he wasn’t even lying because he was cheating. But you know what they say- once a liar, always a liar.
The lie may be harmless in itself but what she couldn’t understand was why her man had to lie. Had he committed a petty crime, or did he go off having fun with someone else? Maybe she’d been hurt by someone like that before and didn’t want to be insecure in a relationship again.
In this age of social media influencers, there is a sweet spot everyone should aim for. You should be popular enough to have a substantial following but not so famous that everyone knows everything about you, including your marital status.
Wow, married men are something else. The beauty of the digital age is that information is not limited to what other people gossip about you. Eventually, with a little detective work, the truth always comes out. We just feel sorry for the wife, who was described as a “bro.” We feel so triggered by that.
It’s easy to understand why this woman fell for this guy at first. We assume he must have been devilishly charismatic and had the looks, the charm, and sharp humor. But he has also got a grandiose sense of self.
Con artists can be very convincing. Fortunately, this woman was able to uncover the truth with a few facts collected from the internet. We don’t know what’s worse – the extent to which the guy lied or how insignificant he was in reality.
Often when we hear that a guy is a single parent, we can’t help but suspect that the relationship fell apart because of him. But we’re willing to give them the benefit of the doubt if they don’t lie and disown their children.
Whereas before, this woman was head over heels for this guy (who was great with kids), she was now disgusted with the whole idea that he had been using her apartment as a rent-free shelter. We hope she, at least, had a prenuptial agreement.
As much as hearing a half-baked lie infuriates you, sometimes you just nod along and play dumb. Liars always find a way of tripping on their own stories. Most times, even when you can’t be sure if someone is lying, you eventually find out in the funniest ways.
However, you won’t be able to decipher the truth if you aren’t paying close attention. Fortunately for her, this woman had a good memory, so when the guy she was talking to forgot his lie, she caught him and needed to say he was still embarrassed about it years later.
Sandra couldn’t believe it. She had been duped by the guy she was dating. Though she had seen the truth right before her, she kept believing the serpentine lies her man kept telling her. Apparently, he was going to visit his sick mom.
As it turned out, the dude was attending his side chick’s baby shower. Worse, he was the father of that baby! Honestly, the audacity some of these guys have should be bottled up and sold to the masses because we sure could use it. Who lies about their mom being sick??
Must Have Gotten Perks
This woman couldn’t help herself. She looked at the guy she was dating and thought, “how low have I gone?” She then snorted and hurried to the guy with a cast worn around his foot and was tempted to push him.
This woman had had such a tragic dating life that she couldn’t pick between two ridiculous lies she’d heard from a man she was seeing. We can’t say that we can’t relate, we have definitely been there. Why would anyone fake a limp though? Sounds so childish.
Real Life Scrub
This next guy reminds us of the antagonist on TLC’S No Scrubs. It’s probably the first song we heard that told us to set standards. Date a guy who has a crib of his own, a stable job, and most importantly marry a man only if he’s capable of paying child support.
It might have been a little too late for this baby momma, though. Without a stable job of her own and a man who couldn’t even drive her to her pre-natal appointments, she had to rely on the generosity of this user. We hope she cut them both off.
You will never see this plot twist coming. This girl was devastated when she received news that her parents were getting divorced. Not even a week later, she learned that her dad had moved in with a much younger woman.
How do you even react after hearing something like this? Of course, it would be confusing. Who would you ask for make-up and styling advice? But on the other hand, it’d be nice to have two people whose wardrobes you can borrow clothing items from!