NotEngaged: 40 Photos Featuring The Adventures Of An Unwedded Left Hand

By Liezel L

To some people, the engagement is just as important as the bachelorette party, the wedding, and the reception. It is a pivotal part of the relationship and the first part of sealing the deal after all. Some want their wardrobe to be perfect, others want their manicures pristine, most want the pictures to be picture-perfect, and a lot want it to happen at the most ideal moment. As fussy as it all seems, we get it. It’s a moment to cherish. The #engaged life isn’t for everybody though. The Instagram account, NotEngaged, created by New Yorker Mary McCarthy loves posting adventures of her unwedded left hand. She travels and attends all kinds of events and places. She rejects all engagement constraints in style, and we are living for it. Here are some of her best #NotEngaged moments. 

Me Nights

We know that cuddling with someone on the couch on a Friday night with your favorite snacks and a great movie on the TV is a simple dream come true for a lot of people. But there is just something about getting the night all to yourself that can’t be matched by anything. 

image courtesy of notengaged/ Instagram

Having the place all to yourself and not having to pick up anything before you finally get to relax after a long day is such a wonderful feeling. Once everything’s done, it’s just done, and if not, well, you’re by yourself anyway, right?

My Fries Are My Fries

We love it when we cook for people, and they make us feel so appreciated for doing so. It makes all the hard work of preparing and cooking the food all worth it. Sometimes though, we just want to cook for ourselves and ourselves only. 

image courtesy of notengaged/ Instagram

Think about it. There won’t be anyone asking for a bite. There won’t be anyone else’s preference that you have to keep in mind. And, of course, there won’t be anyone to judge how many spoonfuls you shove in your mouth. Each and every morsel of that tasty food is yours and yours alone. 

Straight To Bed

It is nice to have someone to go home to that would maybe give you a sweet shoulder rub and a back massage, but honestly, a lot of the times, we just want to head straight to bed without having to explain anything to anyone.

Image courtesy of notengaged/ Instagram

There are just those days staying in our bed all night is just the thing we need to give us a little cure from the day we just had to endure. Even if we still have makeup on our faces and a plate of sushi on our laps with out favorite soap opera blasting on the TV.

Doing Things For Me

What is it with people always associating something you can do for the benefit of others. They might say, “Oh, your future wife will be so lucky!” or “Your husband is going to love that you can do that.” Isn’t it possible that we just learn to do things for the benefit of ourselves?

Image courtesy of notengaged/Instagram

No, we did not learn how to cook just to impress a man. We learned to cook because it’s a basic life skill. And no, we did not learn how to clean the house to be more appealing to our future husbands. We learned because it’s the right thing to do. We learned first and foremost for ourselves, okay?

Adulting First

We know nobody really perfects or masters the whole adulting thing, rather, we learn how to not mess up through trial and error. Realizing how much we’ve gone through just to get there makes us feel invincible at times. 

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While we love the idea of spending our life with the person we believe is our soulmate, we’d also love to be able to say the words, “I can survive on my own” with confidence first. However, it might take a few mishaps and learning curves to get there.

A Fun Day In The Sun

Do you know what a fun, sunny day at the beach looks like for us? It’s where we get to soak up all that sun, enjoy as much food as we can, relax to the max, and feel good about ourselves without a care in the world.

image courtesy of notengaged/ Instagram

For some of us, that doesn’t include worrying about someone else’s things, taking someone else’s pictures, or generally multitasking instead of doing our own thing. We came to have fun, and that’s exactly what we are going to do. 

Not A People Kind Of Night

We love it when couples feel the need to tell single people, “You just need to get out more to find your soulmate.” Have they not met people? Have they not seen and dated people? People are confusing. People are exhausting. 

image courtesy of notengaged/ Instagram

Unlike people, animals and non-human things won’t leave you guessing for your life, so please excuse us if we’d rather spend a perfectly good Saturday night scrubbing, cooking, or doing life by ourselves. We’d love to keep our sanity for a little while longer if you don’t mind. 

Doing Fine Thank You

It’s still kind of funny how some people assume that women can’t live alone properly. Yes, adulting is hard and yes, we live in a dangerous world, but we’re not exactly helpless kids who know nothing. Trust us, we can do just as much as our male counterparts. 

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Help is nice, but we can assure you, we ladies can hold up on our own very efficiently. After all, isn’t that what responsible and decent human beings should be doing, or are we just out of our minds here?

Flowers For Me

Honestly, why do we women wait for men to give us flowers to make us feel special? We can buy our own freaking bouquets and even choose the flowers and arrangements we really want, anytime we want. That sounds nice.

image courtesy of notengaged/ Instagram

If it were up to us, we wouldn’t even need a special occasion to buy flowers. Feeling down? Flowers. Just want to see something new in the house? Flowers. Feeling like you could murder someone? Flowers. They can’t solve our problems, but they can make our homes look a lot more cozy. 

Just One Picture

This post is honestly so on point! Everywhere you go, whether it’s in the Greek goddess of love’s temple or just a restaurant in a touristy place, there is that one couple that looks like they’re attached at the hip. You’ll never see one without the other, and it just becomes awkward when you do. 

Image courtesy of notengaged/ Instagram

Most of the time, it’s fine. They want to enjoy the sights together while being all sugary and sweet at the same time. But you know, a little touristy help would be nice. We can’t rely on selfies forever, right? Vacay photos need to be nice, even if we’re single. 

Let Us Enjoy The Game In Peace

People think that sports are a man’s world, but who says women can’t enjoy them too with as much ferocity as men? Plus, why do people always assume women don’t know anything about sports? We are just as capable to understand them as men are.

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Trust us, if we can memorize every single detail about ingredients in the things we put on our skin or in the food we eat, we can learn every single thing about games we actually love watching just as much as men. So let us enjoy our games in peace, alright?

Travel Goals

Traveling can really test relationships. It has the potential to force you to put on that whole teamwork thing to action every step of the way and well, some people just don’t want to deal with that kind of stress. 

image courtesy of notengaged/ Instagram

All some people want is to make itineraries or do spontaneous things without constantly having to worry if their companion is up for it or if they want to do the same things. We want to fully enjoy the vacation we deserve. 

Once In A Lifetime Opportunity

Getting a row of seats in an airplane to yourself is as rare as getting a generous surprise bonus from your boss. Most people never even get the chance to come near it even once in their lives, so this is one lucky girl right here. 

image courtesy of notengaged/ Instagram

We can only dream of being able to stretch our legs, eat good food, watch the shows we want to watch, sleep soundly in a comfy position, and enjoy a plane ride as it should be enjoyed by only worrying about ourselves. 

Soup For The Soul

Soup is one of the ultimate comfort foods. On cold days, it makes you feel like you’re being hugged from the inside. On warm days, it gives you the comfort of a mother’s touch. Soup rarely fails you. Most of the time, it supports you.

Image courtesy of notengaged/Instagram

Soup can’t talk or give you a rub on the back, but trust us, a good soup can do wonders for the soul. Who cares about being engaged when you have that kind of soup that can comfort you from within, right? 

When Spontaneity Was Still Big

If we’re going to be honest, one of the biggest perks of being single is you only have your future to think of. You might still be on a budget for your goals, but you get to give yourself some leeway every once in a while. 

image courtesy of notengaged/ Instagram

When you get engaged, that leeway sort of just disappears unless you’re super-rich, of course. First, you have the wedding to plan. Then, you have your whole life as a couple to think of. And oh dear, if you’re thinking of having a family soon, well, let’s just say good luck. 


The engagement moment may feel like fireworks, but the planning stage for the actual wedding is a nightmare. It’s weeks on weeks on weeks of talking about colors, flowers, dresses, tastes, in-laws, and so much more, so we kind of get this lady. 

Image courtesy of notengaged/ Instagram

We sure don’t want to be in her place. Work is stressful enough as it is and adding all that wedding stuff isn’t making it any better. Its only adding if you ask us single folks. Hopefully, it’s all worth it for her and her love. 

It’s Not A Vendetta, Promise

Sometimes, people think that when women celebrate their singleness, it is some kind of vendetta against couples or partners. But, no. It is just us being so thankful for the things we can do independently and simply as human beings. 

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While we understand our friends’ concern and while we appreciate that they’re looking out for our love lives, there is a perfectly good reason some of us are enjoying the single life like we never want it to end. 

Bridesmaid Missions

We all know that being a bridesmaid is not an easy job. You have to be there for the bride at one of the happiest and most stressful moments of her life, and we think that’s good excuse to look like pre-makeover Anne Hathaway from The Devil Wears Prada when searching for a dress.

Image courtesy of notengaged/Instagram

Being a not engaged person, you have one less thing to stress about. You can channel all your stress-canceling energies towards appeasing the bride and making sure your bridesmaid dress fits by the time the wedding rolls around. 

Thanks For The Concern

In every family, there always comes that age when family members start hounding the singles with the marriage questions. It becomes the topic of every reunion and the greeting at every holiday. “Found someone yet?” or “When are we going to see some grandchildren?”

Image courtesy of notengaged/Instagram

While their concern and their overflowing interest is nice, it would also be nice to have their attention diverted into other areas of our lives. How about let’s talk about that recent promotion or your discovery of your new-found passion without any hint of marriage? That would be refreshing!

Sorry, Not Sorry

Life is short and time is shorter. And nowadays, waiting is a luxury. So sorry, not sorry Dan, but if you wanted to catch the movie as this woman did, you’d be there on time. Maybe then, you would be enjoying some good old popcorn and awesome company, but of well. 

Image courtesy of notengaged/Instagram

Seriously though, why keep waiting around when you can enjoy something special all on your own? You have your awesome self with you,, plus your delicious food, and honestly, that’s all you’d probably need to enjoy a good movie.

Serving For One

There is no shame in being able to eat a family serving of food. And there is definitely no shame in doing so when you want to. If you’re feeling like it, do it. Just be a little conscious of your waste like this gal here, okay?

image courtesy of notengaged/ Instagram

Have courage and bring that extra silverware back or have your waiter take them. Be brave enough to admit it without really admitting that the entire meal is just for you and yourself only. You just want to enjoy good food to the max, and that is literally it.

Please Make Way

We have absolutely no problem with public displays of affection. Go ahead. Show how much you love each other in front of everyone in the world. Our only plea is please don’t block the way of others. We got things to do, okay?

Image courtesy of notengaged/Instagram

Seriously, a little presence of mind and a consciousness of their surroundings would be nice sometimes. Plus, it’s not like we’re asking them to stand 6 feet apart or something. We just want to do the things we came to do and get home. 

Ex-Plant Parent/Part-Time Witch

Plants may not talk and they might not cuddle us like dogs and some cats do, but they bring us joy all the same, and it still hurts just as much when we lose a plant child. Apparently though, there is something to be made out of the things our plants leave behind. 

Image courtesy of notengaged/Instagram

If you have one of those huge metal plant pots like this gal has, you’re in luck. Not only can you use it as a new umbrella stand, but you can also use it as a makeshift cauldron as a small warning to anyone who might think of stomping on your heart. 

They Deserve All Beautiful Things

Have you ever liked that one guy who you feel so comfortable around and who likes a lot of the same things you love only to find out that he’s also into guys? Yeah, we think we’ve all been there or at least have been a witness to something like that. 

Image courtesy of notengaged/Instagram

It might have sucked the moment you realized you had no chance with him. But honestly, they deserve the person who could truly make them happy, like any of us. They’ve fought hard enough and long enough. They deserve the world. 

Celebrate You

Birthdays are supposedly about the person who was born that day, right? It is a celebration of your life, who you are, you being alive, and all that mushy stuff. And no matter if you are single or not, the day is yours, and that doesn’t change.

Image courtesy of notengaged/Instagram

As this post has said, you don’t need a Mike or a Dave to make your day special. No matter who you celebrate it with, what’s important is that you feel great with yourself and you do things that make you feel that way. 

Taking Over The Honeymoon Island

This post can sound a lot like something an anti-couple would say, but trust us when we say we’re poking fun. Of course, nobody is going to be arrested. Some people just want to enjoy honeymooner-dominated tourist spots without being on a honeymoon. 

Image courtesy of notengaged/Instagram

There are so many beautiful places out there that couples love going to because it’s so romantic and all that, but they’re not the only people who want to enjoy them. Whether they want to or not, we singles are joining in on all the fun. 

Be The You-est You

Living alone is one of the best things in life, no joke. You make your own rules and you eat whatever you want. You do whatever you want. You decorate however you want. You are in full control of almost everything. 

image courtesy of notengaged/ Instagram

There would be no other people to pick up after, no things to debate over, and you could chill and sing karaoke and be your craziest self all day long without feeling the slightest bit of self-cociousness. Dance around that room naked gurl, if that’s what you need! 

The Cheese Life

We’re not saying it’s the same across the board for both sexes, but there is an inherent difference in the priorities of men and women, and sometimes, that can be the deal-breaker for some people. We can’t blame them. 

Image courtesy of notengaged/Instagram

If you can’t find somebody with the same priorities as you or somebody who understands them, focus on your passions, your hobbies, and the things that make you happy even if it’s a cutting board full of cheese, knitting, or whatever floats your boat. 

Destined For That Order

In today’s world, you don’t just wait for “the one” anymore. Even if you meet someone who feels like “the one,” a relationship works only if you both make it work. So when people tell us, “You’ll meet someone!” They have to realize that there is a reason we don’t have that someone yet. 

Image courtesy of notengaged/Instagram

We’ll have someone when we want to have someone. For the moment though, a box of onion rings and some chicken wings would be enough to appease our souls just like this post here. Just as she said, at least we’re not worrying about our credit scores. 

The Third-Party Point Of View

We got to say, public proposals are ballsy. No wonder people clap and hoot like it’s New Year’s every time someone does it and gets a yes. What happens after the big moment though when everything goes back to reality? Well, here’s an answer. 

image courtesy of notengaged/ Instagram

While it was a hooray moment for the couple, it’s not so much, sadly, for the rest of the population who have somewhere to be. So, if you’re one of those who want a public proposal, why not make sure you’re going to do it somewhere a little less busy? Just a little friendly tip.

What Is A Boy…Friend?

When you’re not yet married and there are flowers in the house, people always assume they’re from a boyfriend or someone you’re seeing. Seriously, why? Can’t we have flowers just because we want flowers? Haven’t we discussed this before? 

Image courtesy of notengaged/Instagram

And yes, we’re with this girl on this one. Pizza is not synonymous with a boyfriend. We love them, and we can’t live without them. In fact, we might even lay down our life for them depending on how good they are. How’s that for love? 


After a long week of working hard to get the things we want in life, sometimes, all we want to do is be a potato and lie on the couch with our favorite show on repeat. If he doesn’t get that, well, maybe you need to find yourself another man. 

Image courtesy of notengaged/Instagram

If he immediately gets your “couch” reference though, maybe it’s worth changing minds and going through this engagement thing. A man who knows “couch” is a man who knows what you need and what you really want out of life. 

Single Christmas

When it’s the holidays and you have no one to take home, there is completely nothing wrong with that. Those days are there to be with people you love that are not exclusively a partner anyway and to enjoy good food. That’s it.

Image courtesy of notengaged/Instagram

Just bring your awesome self, spend time with your precious friends and family, eat a lot of good food, receive a lot of great presents, and just chill out. After all, the holidays are about the holidays and not your singleness, right?

Self Prepping Every Day

A little self-care before the week starts is a very important step in taking care of ourselves and our sanity. It helps us prep our defenses against the workload that may becoming, but more especially against any little thing that might stress us out. 

If it were us, we’d love the momentary distraction of all the engagement chatter. It’s a great break from the monotony of work. At some point, we have to move on and start getting back to the present moment and start doing that report though. 

Solo Vacaying All-Around

Seeing all these women today taking solo mini vacays and all that makes us so happy. For a moment, it feels like we’re in a different reality and a new normal, and we’re all invited to take part in it if we really have the desire to do so. 

Image courtesy of notengaged/Instagram

Alas, we are not yet in a perfect world. However, that is not going to stop us from enjoying the things we love doing even if a couple forces us to step aside for a moment. We’re not letting anything stop us from being happy. 

Frolicking In The Married Society

Frolicking in the society of the engaged, the married, and those with children can be a little tricky for single people. There are gifts to think of, compliments to master, and a little bit of acting like you don’t want to go home just yet. 

Image courtesy of notengaged/Instagram

It’s easy to feel left out, especially if you’re one of the few left in your friend group that is single, but don’t worry. You don’t have to let the pressures of that society get to you. Your time will come when it will come, if you even want it to come. 

Financial Freedom Date

Financial freedom is something everyone aspires to have and is one of the best things you can achieve in life. It means you have little to no debt to keep worrying about and you can afford to live comfortably despite the standards of the modern world. So, when you have it, yes, go treat yourself to a date like this woman. 

image courtesy of notengaged/ Instagram

Single or not, having financial freedom in your life is one of the best things you can do for yourself. If you are going to work for it with a partner, though, please make sure that you two are on the same page and that “great ideas” are really great ideas that will benefit you both, alright? 

How To Navigate Holiday Parties

As we’ve said before, there is absolutely no rule saying that single people can’t enjoy the things couples enjoy. Whether that’s spending a holiday on a romantic island, going for a romantic boat ride, or even enjoying the meals meant for a couple. 

Image courtesy of notengaged/Instagram

When you’re navigating the world as a single person, you have to be smart, prepared, and resourceful. Just as this woman said, you got to plan ahead for anything that might come your way so you can receive the best of it for yourself. 


We don’t celebrate our accomplishments enough. And by accomplishments, we mean being able to get up every day the past year, cooking food for yourself no matter how seldom, and getting through another year of slaving for money, Also, spending time with friends and many more.

image courtesy of notengaged/ Instagram

So yes, who cares if you’re engaged or married or nearly there under the mistletoe or under the New Year’s fireworks. Girl, cheer for yourself. Cheer yourself on for surviving another year of being human. And, be proud of yourself for doing it all with your own strength and will. 

No Compromises Yet

One of the biggest things in any relationship is compromise. You have to communicate and meet in the middle to make it work. When you’re happy and single though, you can avoid all those compromises and just do you. 

You can cook your food any way you want to, design your living room any way you want to, watch any film or series that you want, or buy whatever you want whenever you want. So ladies, enjoy while you can, and don’t be afraid to live your life the way you want to.