Artist Kamila Majcher Serves Us Some Real Sarcasm On Her Wickedly Funny PlatesBy Louise P
Art these days has taken on a whole new meaning, and artists have to try harder and harder to come up with unique and refreshing ideas. Berlin-based artist, Kamila Majcher, has done just that by breathing new life into some old plates. The art found on decorative plates from the old days is a beauty in itself. Still, by adding some genuinely hilarious text to them, Kamila created a winning combination that has caught the attention of art lovers. She says that she draws inspiration from everyday situations, her state of mind, the antics of her friends, and conversations she overhears. She simply says, “I’m an artist serving bad humor on Very Ugly Plates.” It is a simple recipe, but in that simplicity, the power of her plates lay. Here are some of the funniest plates we found on Kamila Majcher Instagram page, @veryuglyplates.
Sugar Baby Blues
This is a conundrum that we constantly ask ourselves. Sometimes it seems as though our laziness knows no bounds. We are even too lazy to scream at Netflix if it asks us if we are still watching. Can we get an Amen?
But laziness doesn’t pay the bills now, does it? Being sugar babies seems like the next logical step. But unfortunately, we are less “sugar, spice, and everything nice” and a little more “fire, brimstone, and leave me alone.” Not exactly the best recipe if you are looking to catch an old rich dude!
A Waste of Time
Some say being a girl sucks. Why? There is so much primping and curling that goes into being even slightly presentable. We’re not even going to mention the wage gap. However, this plate captures what we’re trying to say in one short phrase.
But, the worst part of being a girl is hands down shaving. Just finding the motivation to bend down for that long is asking a lot. And if all that effort is not met with equal amounts of enthusiasm or perhaps an invitation upstairs, you bet your bottom we will be mad!
Confessions of a Shopaholic
Have you ever gone to the store to buy some sugar but came back with a new coat, a dog toy (you don’t own a dog), three plants (which will inevitably die), and a cheese grater (you are lactose intolerant)? Same.
Compulsive shopping is a real struggle, and while some may think it is just a frivolous addiction, others understand just how merciless it can be. Some of us just need to cut up our cards before we come home with a llama one of these days.
We have all faced the same cycle during lockdowns. You are lazy, and your house gets filthy. Then, you have one day of motivation where you clean every inch of your home. Then you reward your productivity by being lazy and making the house filthy again.
The cycle just does not end! You know it’s terrible when you get to the stage where you just threaten to clean and never actually get to it. “I’ll do it tomorrow” will probably be written on our headstones one day.
We laughed way too hard at this plate. Jesus, the shepherd of man and sheep, is casually tending to his flock while holding one of the newborn lambs. But, the mama sheep looks a little less than impressed with the arrangement.
If only she knew who he was, she would maybe be more in favor of him holding her dearest. But perhaps she knows it’s Sunday, and he is looking for someone to accompany his Yorkshire puddings and gravy. We don’t blame him.
Death Metal Darling
We are pretty sure this isn’t what Norman Rockwell had in mind when he painted “Pondering on the Porch,” but we sure are happy that this masterpiece happened! If you are into death metal, a banjo just won’t cut it.
Is it just us, or is music taste one of the fundamentals of any relationship? We just can’t be with you if you see Garth Brooks as one of the “greats,” But start humming some sweet tunes from Bowie or Prince, and you have us hooked.
By now, everyone must have had the revelation that nowhere in the “Humpty Dumpty” rhyme does it actually mention he was an egg. It’s pretty grim if you think about it! And why were the horses trying to fix him? They don’t have opposable thumbs!
This plate speaks the truth, though. Maybe the rhyme was indeed a metaphor for the fragile male ego. What lesson do we learn from this tale, though? Don’t go sitting around on walls for no reason or risk tumbling to your doom!
Isn’t that just ironic? You spend countless hours and hundreds of dollars on fixing yourself with a therapist, most probably because a previous partner scrambled your brain a little too much. And then one fine day, another lad shows up, ready to undo it all.
With one swoop, he makes you lose sight of all the hard work you put in, all common sense goes out the window, and you are back at square one. To you, we say, “No, thank you, sir!” Be gone with you, foul beast!
We are getting to that age where baby fever is running high, and the little tykes seem to be sprouting left, right, and center. And you all probably know at least one friend that has had to give up a beloved pet due to babies being allergic.
How about the dog stays, and the baby goes? That might seem a little drastic probably. But, the dog is our baby, too! Can we just hurry up and get some baby-safe Benadryl already? How can we put billionaires in space, but we can’t stop babies from sneezing? Ever thought about that?
Have you ever wondered what happens after you die? Like, beyond going to the good place or the bad place. What do you actually do there? Do we still have to work? Do we sing lovely songs around a campfire?
There is also the chance you can become someone’s guardian angel. But, what if you really don’t like this person? Or they make foolish choices. How much of that can you wash your hands of? We better start praying for a suitable placement now!
We have all seen the videos of kiddos relentlessly chasing after their parents, parents hiding their sweets in detergent boxes, and kids watching their parents on the toilet. Those little rug rats are relentless! We don’t blame parents in the least for hiding every chance they can.
This caption is also the only logical explanation for this picture. It shows us that this isn’t a new problem. Even the folks from a few hundred years ago had their hands full! There was no such thing as renaissance babies who were ahead of their time.
We all have that one friend. Yes, we are looking at you, perhaps. They can’t stand the heat, but they also refuse to get out of the kitchen. Yes, the drama queens. Everything is always too much or not enough.
They thrive on the chaos, drama, intrigue, and soap opera nuances. This puppy knows what we are talking about. He is pretty much done with little Suzie’s nonsense. Surprise, surprise, boy. You need to suck it up because that little drama queen still needs to feed you!
Remember when we were kids, and our parents used to say that birthdays get less special as you get older. We refused to believe them. We always thought, “not mine! My birthday will always be a grand affair!” But little did we know…
With every year that passes, fewer and fewer people stick around. It is about time we lower our expectations. We are never getting the surprise party of our dreams, and we are definitely never getting an exotic holiday for our birthday.
Have you ever seen the memes where people mistake crystals for fried chicken or ham? We fall for it every time. Food is our downfall, and we will probably end up in some sort of “Taken” situation voluntarily if it involves something smoked or fried.
This plate depicts a frame from the 1922 classic Dracula film, Nosferatu. This movie was made to be a horror film, but this sneaky vampire’s crazy looks and wacky antics still have us in stitches. It is not the Dracula movie we wanted, but it is the Dracula movie we needed.
Ok, so hear us out. Instead of having a baby, you adopt a dog. And instead of getting a husband, you adopt another couple of dogs. They love you unconditionally, never cheat on you or talk back, and give the best cuddles guaranteed.
And best of all, they never judge you for spending three days on the couch watching Netflix and eating pizza! So no, madam, there is absolutely no problem with replacing humans in your life with dogs. It is actually encouraged!
“Millennial” is a label we despise for ourselves, and there should be a much more clearly defined line between old and young millennials. Nonetheless, many employers find the youths of today basically unemployable, and we refuse to associate with them.
Overly sensitive. Slightly entitled. Believe that dreams do come true. But, not in the real world, honey! Down here on earth, we need to work hard and get our hands dirty, and there is no time to have our feelings hurt. Get with the program!
In 1979, the Boomtown Rats sang, “I don’t like Mondays.” We call for them to follow up with the other days of the week, too. Because we genuinely despise them all equally. Except for Saturdays. Saturdays can stay. We like Saturdays.
But alas, push on, we must. We are constantly searching for that will to live. Maybe it is the idea of a delicious pizza for dinner. Or the reward of sleeping late on the weekend. Whatever it is, good luck on the search! And please let us know if you find it.
Ok, hear us out. Who is the evil one here? The Witch because she tried to cook the kids? Or Hansel and Gretel because they ate her house! Do you see where we are going with this? Whatever it is, no one deserves to have their house eaten!
This poor old woman has been shunned by society for her alternative lifestyle and fled to the woods. Here, she spent her last years creating a beautifully decorated, delectable house just for two kids to come along and devour it. Of course, she wants to cook them!
First off, why? Secondly, WHY!? Who could possibly be the inspiration for this artist behind this lovely and gorgeous painting? This is probably what the French guard in Monty Python was referring to when he said, “Your mother was a hamster.”
Then, there is also the saying, “only a mother could love that face.” In this case, an artist looking for very ugly plates could also love that face. This looks like the next contestant on Ru Paul’s Drag Race: Medieval Edition. Before the makeup, we hope.
Little dogs are a species on their own. Not quite brawny enough to be considered dogs. Not quite evil enough to associate with cats. Yet, they demand the highest standard of living and to be pampered day in and day out.
This reminds us of the TikTok, where the fancy pooch proclaims, “I think I’m allergic to tap water.” It’s hard to imagine delicate dogs like Dachshunds were once bred to hunt rodents or badgers. Their ancestors must be turning in their graves if they see how soft they have become!
Kamila usually draws inspiration from her own state of mind or overheard conversations. This plate is one of a select view that doesn’t feature some absurd antique picture on it, but the text is still equally funny in its own right.
We do, however, feel personally attacked by this plate. We have reached that time when Botox has become essential, or we risk actually seeing our advancing age with the crow’s feet that are slowly creeping out from the corners of our eyes.
Being 30 something and unmarried puts you in a precarious position. In your 20s, you are still hot to trot, hangovers only last a few hours, and you are still hopeful that your prince charming is waiting around the corner.
Once you hit your 30s, all of that is out the window. From there, it is just a downward spiral until you hit your late 40s when being a MILF becomes an acceptable pastime. So, here’s to the next 15 years of solitude that await us!
Adorable puppy and kitten motifs will seemingly never go out of fashion. Cute is always in style. But there is just something extra fantastic about adding obscure text to such wholesome and sweet images as this. Kamila adds a quirky touch to her plates in the best possible way.
The dread on the poor kitten’s face is classic. We wonder what else the dog could be whispering. Perhaps something like, “sleep with one eye open,” or maybe, “Catch me outside, how about that?” Whatever it is, that poor cat will not sleep soundly tonight.
Everybody Wants to Be a Cat
Whether you love them or hate them, we can all agree; cats are devious creatures. And word is still out on whether or not they are trying to take over the world. Have you ever tried saying ‘no’ to a cat?
It is simply not possible. We wouldn’t be surprised if we woke up one day, all having been enslaved by the feline race. In all honesty, we kind of wouldn’t mind it. The Egyptians worshipped cats, and they turned out just fine.
Return to Sender
If you show up with a baby instead of a puppy, you bet your bottom we will be returning to the sender right away! And by the look on the baby’s face, it also doesn’t really want to be there either.
The internet is full of real-life treasures like this, too. Kids are hysterically crying because their parents are having a baby, they don’t like the gender of their new sibling, or they want a puppy instead. Unfortunately, that’s not how kids work!
Could you just hear the 90s kids inside us all scream with joy when we saw this plate? They gave a very audible yelp. This piece of art is EVERYTHING! It is brimming with nostalgia, makes us laugh, and also just looks cool.
Forget about Jackson Pollock or Damien Hirst, THIS is real art to us. The kind of thing we would collect in the hopes that it will one day sell for millions. Or at least be passed down to our grandchildren to convey the brilliance of Aqua to future generations.
We get it, alcohol is a weirdly legal drug, and dry January is kind of not the worst idea ever. Neither is Oc-sober (sober-October). But every now and then, we just need a little help from our delicious bottled friend.
Maybe you need some courage before a public speech. Perhaps you need a little motivation before walking up to a girl in the bar. Some people just can’t deal with all the annoying relatives at the family reunion. This lady on the plate obviously gets it.
Minor imperfections are what make us unique. This has been drilled into our heads from a young age, and this is still true. Every now and then, we all just need a little reminder that it is our flaws that make us beautiful.
This plate personifies that sentiment perfectly. A tiny chip on the edge makes this plate even more interesting. Adding writing on a once valuable antique might ruin it in some people’s eyes, but others will now value it even more!
Some little girls dream their whole lives of their big wedding day. Others dream of having a high-flying corporate job or owning a big mansion. We are rather simple in that regard. We only dream of becoming crazy cat ladies.
Emphasis on the crazy. We are talking about letting our hair go wild, wearing weird clothes, and never leaving our house level of crazy cat lady. If you can’t accept that, there’s the door! But, we will also have sign-up sheets at the end of this TedTalk.
Do you remember that feeling when your parents would say, “I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed?” That sinking feeling that fills you with utter regret and self-hatred? Yes, that’s the kind of look Mother Mary over here is giving us.
Disappointed realness. Her eyes say it all. Even though this plate, in particular, is genius, we would not buy it just for the fact that we would constantly need to turn it around to keep her prying eyes from judging us!
This is another example of a plate that would freak us out too much to actually buy it. The devil lives in the madam’s eyes! Could you imagine coming home and having to answer to her? That will be a “no, thank you” from us.
Whether she is your wife or mother, or even worse, mother-in-law, this woman puts the fear of God in us. We would be on our very best behavior if she were around! But who wants that? That sounds pretty boring!
Dogs just have it all, don’t they? Cute as a button, check. All the love and attention they could possibly want, check. Zero responsibilities, double-check. Who wouldn’t want to just laze around all day, eat free food, and get belly rubs on command?
Count us in! Wouldn’t it be nice if we could use this excuse in real life, though? Sorry, I can’t pay my bills because I am too cute. Here are some free groceries because you are cute. Do you need some gas in your car? Don’t worry. You’re cute. Here are ten gallons.
Antique plates, tins, and artwork had a particular obsession with children. Especially showing them doing grown-up things like cooking, delivering mail, farming, or cleaning. This gives Kamila the perfect framework to base her genius art on for an extra ominous creation.
By adding a few simple words, a little girl goes from a merry baker to a devious villain in a matter of seconds. At first, these plates are hilarious, but the deeper the little girl stares into your soul, the creepier it gets! These would actually make the perfect gift for your frenemies.
Some of these plates are hilariously dark. Some are wickedly funny. We sometimes feel personally attacked by the plates, but sometimes, they are just downright charming. This is the most simple plate of them all, and we can’t get enough.
Don’t get us wrong, we are suckers for a pun or some off-colored humor, but this is one we don’t need to hide from our mothers. There is nothing wrong with a good old vanilla joke every now and then!
Give this Dog its Day
Considering all that went down in 2020, it is not surprising that many people didn’t pay particular attention to the 2020 Nobel Prize winners. This time, one of the winners had four legs and answered with “woof.” Can you guess who it was?
That’s right. Foxtrot, a Bangladeshi rescue pup, is the mascot for the World Food Program and was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize along with his colleagues at WFP. The dog on the plate seems pretty unimpressed with a stick instead of a prize, but we can talk again when he starts fighting world hunger!
Aren’t you tired of all the positive and inspirational posters and décor at Home Depot and Bed, Bath & Beyond? Wall hangings saying things like, “What I like most about my home is who I share it with,” or “Choose Joy.” The worst one of all: “Live, Laugh, Love.”
Well, here is some food for thought. We are not going to let a poster tell us how to feel anymore! Bring on the bad vibes! It’s ok to “Cry, Complain, Criticize” sometimes, too, if that makes you feel better!
In the year of our lord, 2021, online dating has become the most beloved and most hated pastime for most singles. Many troll the internet for a potential partner only to be met with a vulgar request for some intimate images.
Nope. Ok, maybe. No, no, we stick with no. We also can’t help but imagine that sometimes it is a person resembling a moose on the other side making these requests. Let’s just get back to speed dating and anonymous phone-sex hotlines like back in the day!
We could pretty much put money on it that Norman Rockwell did not intend for his painting, Till the boys come home to portray a couple of hungover youths. Yet, here ware. But this is a truly magical interpretation of his work!
The girl in the blue dress gives us life. And if you think about it, what else would a bunch of gal-pals be doing when waiting for their men? What we have here is Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte, and Miranda from 1918!
We have said it once, and we have said it again. We love and respect cats, but we fear them to no end. They will cut us in our sleep, and we are very aware of this. They come with built-in daggers in their paws, for goodness’ sake!
There is also something truly horrifying about the way this cat stares into your soul. We are pretty sure if this plate was in Night at the Museum, it would go full Freddy Kruger on us. No thanks! We will instead take a cute horsey plate.
We are obsessed with how Kamila can take a cute children’s image and see a way to make it absolutely spot on for adult problems. These teddies are 100% ready for some mischief, and we are pretty sure they are going to find it.
As adults, it seems like concerns and anxiety is around every corner of our lives! It could be a bit more manageable if our anxiety was brought on by teddy bears, though. That seems like a mountain we could conquer.
Jane Austin novels have brainwashed us into believing that romance is a cute boy whispering sweet nothings into our ears. But now that we are of a more advanced age, we realize that romance is, in fact, dead. Cynical much?
We now know that men have been put on this earth to conjure us away from our paths of stability and independence. Why do you think the Amazons from Themyscira were so happy and had so much time to become super strong? No men!
Let’s be honest. We all thrive on a little drama every now and then. We might be saying we don’t like it, but we are dirty filthy liars who crave drama and chaos, at least sometimes. Our drama radars are always in tune and ready for action.
We do sometimes think it might be time to cut the drama for a bit and have a holiday from all the action. But that usually lasts all of 2 minutes, and then we are craving it once more. Perhaps it is time for a trip to a Drama Addicts Anonymous meeting.
We can all agree, last year sucked. This year sucked. Every day that drags by sucks more than the last. Mercury is in REAL retrograde. We constantly find ourselves asking, “when will this madness end?” Yet, there seems to be no end in sight.
This plate reminds us of the classic Daniel Powter tune Bad Day. Yes, Daniel, our blue skies have faded to grey. Yes, we stood in line and have hit a new low, and our lives have been way off-kilter. Yes, we have had a bad day.